New customs in kashmiri weddings a curse for poor people..

Samania Bhat
Kashmiri marriage rituals and traditions are no doubt very simple and less expensive. But this heavenly blessing has Beenconverted into curse in the valley.The threat for the financially backward people.As the social formalities makes the marriage a menance because huge amount of mo ey.The new customs have gripped Kashmir with extravegent wedding customs.
Extravagance,showoff and lavishness are what defines a marriage in Kashmir today,which rich people can afford but a poor is left dry by the societies newdefinition of marriage.The number of people in Kashmir are spending over lakhs and crores on weddings.A man in Srinagar spend many lakh rupees on marriage ceremony of his daughter, there a gift was handed over to each guest worth Rs 23,000.Another person in downtown Srinagar spend many lakh rupees on wazwan,such people force poor to eat a humble pie.Another rich man paid ten lakh rupees only for a tent -house for few days.Now the poor people are afraid that would they be able to see their  children married.The trend of   glamorous wedding and extravagant spending on marriage functions and customswhich causes huge problems for poor parents as their children also dream of such lavishness which is not possible for poor parents.when anyone start an expensive and glamorous trend others are dragged either by circumstances,the society or by jealousy to follow it.
 Recently I saw that the guests were served with dry fruits and a note of 500rs in each dry fruit box. There was also a gold cion in each meat ball(gushtaba) at one wedding.
The poor families who can’t afford such things and these social formalities ,their children either remain unmarried or in case commit suicide.The rich people who spend lakhs on marriages functions without giving a thought for poor.the rich people are boasting it,which causes huge problems for poor parents.
  Its high time that society should wake up against this extravagance on marriages.This could help the poor for marrying their children respectively in the society.people should celebrate the marriage functions and traditions within the social norms and limits in the consideration.so, that the poor people can also efford.All the practices which include extravagenceand the evil customs should be stopped for the sake of sanity.
 Its estimated that marriages are made in heaven but now turned into a hell  for poor people. The expenditure in more weddings goes uoto lakhs .whenever a person who marries his children in a simple way,people start complaining that the wedding was too simple.The fear of back biting is too humiliating for people to go against the extravagent wedding,when a poor girl or boy sees the lavish wedding,they realize that their parents cannot afford to do the same.so the poor children commit suicide.the society is forcing the poor to do so.Marriages are supposed to bring peace and happiness to the society,not anxiety and fear to the lives of poor people.
I have been trying to understand why people are spending lavishly on wedding celebrations?The high expenditure on weddings fuels to female foeticide,poverty,illiteracy and even suicides.Its disturbing to see that this trend of spending in weddings is not showing any signs of letting up.The weddings inKashmir have turned into showpiece and a new trend to show off new wealth and ones honour.It made me feel sad for those poor parents,who have three or four daughters as my own father has three daughters.The excessive spending on marriages is a serious issue for the poor people middle-class’s.however its only going to drown the poor into more financial insecurity.our society should be transformed from herd mentality to hero mentality in the true sense and spirit of marriage. By the overspending on marriage ceremony the people wants to establish some kind of status for themselves,to raise ones status which puts heavy pressure on families who cannot afford the same.The show off and vulgur display of wealth may add to the status of a ricv person but it creates a barrier for thousands of poor people who belongs to economically weaker family.
There is also a trend of DJ system, hiring of big marriage halls,light works,giving a big dowry,cars etc has made the poor people also to spend more money which is not even affordable for them.The act of extravegence on marriages casts an negative impact on poor society.The rich people must consider the negative aspects which it may deliver to the society.The overspending on marriages creates crises in the society.
On contrary to this if we talk about middle class family they don’t have handsome amount of money but because of societies, relatives fear that marriage was not up to mark,they take loans.. so the lavish wedding can set a poor man back by a decade as he struggles to repay the loan.The loan they have taken for their children’s wedding.If one person is proving that he ix rich by the lavish wedding ,then his relatuves,his neighbours,and even the poor will try to beat himbin terms of lavishness.This trend is also bowing the seed of jealousy and hatred.

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